Sunday, March 9, 2008

Where Have I Been?

I know I have been MIA for quite a while. The reason is because the adoption homefront is not looking so rosy. To make a long story short, there is an agreement between the US and Vietnam that is due to expire on September 1st. Without this agreement, Vietnam law will not allow adoptions to take place with the US. The US wants some issues worked out prior to signing the agreement. It appears that the US stand is that they will not sign the current agreement, either this one needs to be modified or a new agreement created. There is alot going on in the adoption community that is working towards keeping the agreement intact, but I am not very hopeful it is going to happen.

My dossier has been ready, just waiting to be authenticated, but I have been sitting on it because I want to see what is going to happen between the US and Vietnam. Emotionally and financially, I have decided I can't risk sending my dossier over there. Financially, it would not only cause me to lose money, it would mean I wouldn't have the money to fund an adoption and so it would cost me my dream of a second child.

While I have been MIA, I have been spending hours on the internet researching countries and special needs children. I have poured over websites with waiting children and had it narrowed down to three countries: India, Kazakhstan, and Ethiopia. I ruled out Kazakhstan because you have to travel for two trips, the first one lasting ~4 weeks and the second lasting ~1 week. Also in my research there have been some problems with the processing of adoptions in Kazakhstan and so I ruled out that country.

I am a little tired of having my options limited because I am single. I am a happier person for it, better to be single and absolutely thrilled to be a mommy then in an unhappy relationship, which in turn affects your baby. I really don't feel like I am ever going to marry. At this point, I don't have the desire. I am so happy to be a mom and feel blessed that God has chosen me to be a mom. That is my heart's desire and I am blessed to be able to be a mother.

So, India and Ethiopia are my top choice. They both allow singles to adopt. Up until late last week, I was all ready to start paperwork for Ethiopia, but now I'm not sure!

Sorry for the disjointed posting, but this has been a rollercoaster ride! It was so much easier with Regan's adoption! I know what is meant to be will be and I'll keep you posted as to what transpires!

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Another Name Change

Okay, so I'm not going with Mallory if I am referred a little girl. I looked up the meaning of the name and it means, ill omened or unlucky. Not something I want to saddle my little girl with, if I can come up with another name I like. I'm leaning toward the name, Kinsy. Of course, I looked up the name, Regan (a little late, but oh well) and it means queen. I didn't even know the meaning because I had had the name picked out for so long!

My fingerprinting appointment came in the mail today. I am to be at the Tampa office of the CIS (Citizenship and Immigration) on the second week of January. What cracks me up is how fancy they are getting. When I got my first set of fingerprints taken for Regan's adoption, I went in with all my belongings and not a care in the world as I waltzed up and got fingerprinted. The second time was not so carefree as they checked everyone at the door and were very, very strict about bringing nothing inside. Of course they don't tell you that ahead of time and I had my purse and cell phone and my mom had left with Konnor to go shopping while I waited in a huge line to be fingerprinted. That meant I had no where to leave my stuff. Luckily, I could leave it at the front desk although they gave me the disclaimer they were not responsible if someone took my stuff.

This time around, I get a fancy letter in the mail on cardstock paper. It has specific instructions on what not to bring inside with you. Another fancy turn of events is that instead of just calling it fingerprints, they are now referred to as biometrics. Makes it sound like some mathematical test I have absolutely no hopes of passing!

Why, I ask, is this even necessary seeing as how my fingerprints are not going to change, do I have to go back and do this over and over and over again?!?! Could it be the heart attack inducing fee of $750 dollars that I forked over to the Department of Homeland Security in order to have this pleasure?!?!?

Monday, December 17, 2007

A Revelation

I am still messing around with the doctor's office and trying to get the stupid form I need notarized. It is becoming a real pain in the patookis. I have been to the doctor's office three seperate times already. Today, I went in to have my TB test read. I had to go in early so that I could fit into their "window" of reading time. I then went back and met my mom there to see if she could notarize the form. The doctor was already gone. He decided to leave early today. Lovely. I remember this was a pain in the arse last time I had to get a physical. I just got it done at the OB/GYN because he would do it with no problem. I do remember though this was the most difficult piece of paper work to get done. Ridiculous as that is.....

Anyway, my revelation is about the sex of the baby. I told Jennifer (SW) that I did not necessarily request a baby this time around. With Regan, I wanted her as young as possible. This time, I'm okay with birth to toddler. See as how I am opening up my options, wouldn't it be possible that I would be referred a girl?!?!? I have just always assumed I would receive a boy because boys are more numerous than girls and since I wasn't requesting a gender that I would most likely receive a referral for a boy. Now I'm not so sure. Maybe I'll get a toddler girl. Just in case, I thought I better start thinking about names. Regan was easy. I had that name picked out since I was about 19. I have never thought of another name. I keep imagining possibilities, but really don't like very many names, or they are too popular. I've thought about it a couple of days and I am leaning towards the name Mallory. I think it is very pretty! Her nickname could be Mally. Just in case, I'll keep alot of Regan's clothes. You never know!!!

Thursday, December 13, 2007

The Next Interview and the Physical

Yesterday, I drove up to Sarasota and met with Jennifer again for my second interview. It was straight forward and had a sense of deja vu! She did bring out my old Self Study that I had completed for Regan's adoption. She laughed and told me it was the doctorate thesis of all Self Studies. I had put it all together in a special binder, on decorated paper, with corresponding photos on each page! I had waited almost two years to start the process at that point and did go a little overboard! She notices that my paperwork is not nearly so elaborate now that I am a mommy!

Today, I had my physical as part of the adoption requirements. When I scheduled the appointment, I hadn't realized that I had to get a TB test and so I have to go back tomorrow to place the test and then back again on Monday to have the test read. They also don't have a notary in their office, so I"ll have to come back another day so that my mom can notarize his evaluation. Poor planning on my part. Oh well, it will be done and over with soon.

I am slowly making progress and Jennifer anticipates my dossier will be heading to China in March.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Finally Getting a Move On

Okay, after much procrastination and just being generally busy, I have moved onto the next step of the process! Finally, right?!?!? I received the Vietnam packet from Jennifer and went to my mom's office so that one of her co-workers could notarize a bunch of forms. I have yet to fill any of them out, but I felt good that I was actually doing something towards this adoption!

My delay has also been with me overanalyzing the logistics of another adoption. Number one, let's face facts, adoption is expensive and I'm not rolling in the dough. I wanted to come up with a game plan for financing the adoption before I got further in the process.

Most importantly has been my own hesitation with knowing what is right for Regan. I am so scared to "upset the apple cart", because what we have is wonderful. I want her to have a sibling and yet I'm worried she will have difficulty sharing her mommy. Just last week, she got so upset and jealous when I was holding my cousin Katie. She ran up to us and starting screaming, "mine" and tried to crawl up my body to get in my arms. My hope is that she was originally very jealous of me spending time with Konnor, but now is not bothered at all. She still sometimes gets jealous of the dogs when I hold them, and we've been working on that issue and it has much improved with only the occassional jealousy. She has adjusted and loves to be around him. I know she'll be fine after an initial adjustment period, but I just want to do what is right for us. My mom tells me I'm overanalyzing and worrying about nothing. I know I tend to do this! So, I'm taking a leap of faith and moving forward! I have always wanted to be a mommy to at least two children.

I have pretty much decided to go with Faith International. Primarily because I will work continuously with Jennifer, my same social worker, throughout the process until travel. CHI, the other company I was considering, has also recently been in the news with some transgressions. I'm sure it is still a great company, but it just seemed like a "sign" to tell me to go with Faith. Fingers crossed I"m making the right decision!

Vietnam is less predictable a process than China and so it is always worrisome to try something new! This time around is so different than the first time. I was 1000 percent sure with Regan's adoption and now with going in a new direction and having not only myself, but Regan to think about, I've had to deliberate a little. Regan's adoption was easy. I had waited for years to start the process and never once had a moments indecision.

But here we go!!! Let's start this ride!!!

Saturday, September 8, 2007

The First Official Interview!

Jennifer, my social worker from Lifelink, came to the house on September 5 to complete Regan's second post placement visit. While she was here, we also started the first interview required to start Gabriel's homestudy information! Yeah! I have a list of "homework" to complete and get started. Lifelink does not directly complete adoptions from Vietnam and so I will have to apply to a second agency to officially complete the adoption. Jennifer told me that Lifelink is partnering with Faith International to complete Vietnam adoptions. The good thing about this is that I would be able to keep Jennifer as my "go to" person. The bad thing is that I have been in contact with Faith and don't have a comfortable feeling about them. I'm still leaning towards using Children's Hope International. The downside of using CHI is that they have a VERY long wait. The process could take 3 or more years. I'm not in a huge hurry, but three years is a little long!

Friday, August 17, 2007

It Has Officially Begun!

I'm doing it! I am officially starting the process to adopt a child from Vietnam. After much deliberation, I have officially turned in my application to Lifelink (same agency I used to adopt Regan). I waited a little while to allow Regan to adjust and to just gather my thoughts and make a plan of action for expenses and our living situation. Joel was never supportive of the idea of adopting again and since he was not supportive of Yunnie, I put my thoughts on the back burner. It is a blessing that I now have the opportunity to fulfill my dream of becoming a mother again.

Unlike with China, Lifelink is not licensed to complete adoptions from Vietnam. I asked my previous social worker, Jennifer, to complete my home study. I will then have to pick another adoption agency to handle the adoption. I am undecided between two agenices. Children' Hope Internation is a very large and well known agency. They are saying current wait times to receive a referral are 12-15 months for a boy and 2 years for a girl. This is following ~4 months of time that it takes to complete the homestudy. You would then travel ~4 months after your referral. Unlike China, with Vietnam you get your referral earlier in the process and then have to wait to travel. The other agency I am thinking about is Carolina Adoption. They are who Lifelink recommends. They are currently not taking any more applications. The thought is that they will be ready to accept applications around the time my homestudy is complete. They currently say they are 5 months to referral and then 4 months to travel. I'm just not sure I am ready for another baby that soon! I would really like something in the middle of the two! And of course, you can't ever know for sure. When I first applied to adopt from China, the estimated wait time was 6 months and it turned into 16 months from the time of dossier to China!

I am not going to request a specific gender, but I would love to have a boy! Even without me specifying a gender, it will probably end up being a boy because there are more boys available for adoption than girls. The exact opposite of China! I already have a name picked out for a boy and I have bought 2 outfits that I couldn't resist! His name will be Gabriel. Like Regan NanZiYun, I will probably keep his Vietnamese name as his middle name. I am so excited, but have not told alot of people because it is such a long process things may happen that slow or halt the process. It is hard to start and have questions asked all of the time about when it is going to happen. No one knows!