Lilypie Waiting to adopt Ticker

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Finally Getting a Move On

Okay, after much procrastination and just being generally busy, I have moved onto the next step of the process! Finally, right?!?!? I received the Vietnam packet from Jennifer and went to my mom's office so that one of her co-workers could notarize a bunch of forms. I have yet to fill any of them out, but I felt good that I was actually doing something towards this adoption!

My delay has also been with me overanalyzing the logistics of another adoption. Number one, let's face facts, adoption is expensive and I'm not rolling in the dough. I wanted to come up with a game plan for financing the adoption before I got further in the process.

Most importantly has been my own hesitation with knowing what is right for Regan. I am so scared to "upset the apple cart", because what we have is wonderful. I want her to have a sibling and yet I'm worried she will have difficulty sharing her mommy. Just last week, she got so upset and jealous when I was holding my cousin Katie. She ran up to us and starting screaming, "mine" and tried to crawl up my body to get in my arms. My hope is that she was originally very jealous of me spending time with Konnor, but now is not bothered at all. She still sometimes gets jealous of the dogs when I hold them, and we've been working on that issue and it has much improved with only the occassional jealousy. She has adjusted and loves to be around him. I know she'll be fine after an initial adjustment period, but I just want to do what is right for us. My mom tells me I'm overanalyzing and worrying about nothing. I know I tend to do this! So, I'm taking a leap of faith and moving forward! I have always wanted to be a mommy to at least two children.

I have pretty much decided to go with Faith International. Primarily because I will work continuously with Jennifer, my same social worker, throughout the process until travel. CHI, the other company I was considering, has also recently been in the news with some transgressions. I'm sure it is still a great company, but it just seemed like a "sign" to tell me to go with Faith. Fingers crossed I"m making the right decision!

Vietnam is less predictable a process than China and so it is always worrisome to try something new! This time around is so different than the first time. I was 1000 percent sure with Regan's adoption and now with going in a new direction and having not only myself, but Regan to think about, I've had to deliberate a little. Regan's adoption was easy. I had waited for years to start the process and never once had a moments indecision.

But here we go!!! Let's start this ride!!!

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